These past weeks I've found myself musing within familiar territory, a place that seems good to visit again and again in one's practice. Or perhaps it simply comes up of its own accord, a perennial topic that wants to be wondered about as well as say something itself. It's related to that dynamic and tension between teachings in Zen that state all that you are, just as you are, is "it", yet there is a practice to develop, maintain and follow that will essentially lead you right to where you are now. Or to put it more simply, if what is stated in the teachings is so, why practice? I'd say essentially we don't believe what were being told or reading, but it is not a black-and-white "That's not true" response, but more a grey area of "I hear what you're saying and recognize some truth in it if I don't think too hard about it, but overall it's not my experience and I don't quite believe you." The black-and-white response is a dismissal and a turning away, whereas the grey area response has a willingness to abide in curious bafflement and keep looking.
Here's a koan that comes for regular visits, which has been keeping company with me lately and speaks to this dynamic:
Zhaozhou asked Nanquan, “What is the Tao?”
Nanquan said, “Ordinary mind is the Tao.”
Zhaozhou asked, “Should I try to direct myself toward it?”
Nanquan said, “If you try to direct yourself you betray your own practice.”
Zhaozhou said, “How can I know the Tao if I don’t direct myself?”
Nanquan said, “The Tao is not subject to knowing or not knowing. Knowing is delusion; not knowing is blankness. If you truly reach the genuine Tao, you will find it as vast and boundless as outer space. How can this be discussed at the level of affirmation and negation?”
I notice a similarity in Zhaozhou's response to Nanquan and my response when first coming across such teachings. The flavor of it is "I believe you and trust what you say, but you can't possibly be talking about this ordinary mind of mine and life as I am currently living it, so how can I get to the place of which you are speaking? What's the catch?" I find that this response and inquiry generates a "not this" and illuminates the various manifestations of "not this" that I tend to carry around with me. There really isn't a catch and practice won't lead you to some place that is beyond your own life, but it will help wear down the "not this" of your experience, allowing it to become useless and drop away. "Not this" binds you, limits you, keeps you suspended just outside of things, and when it drops away you fall gorgeously and fully into the vast richness of life, yours or anyone else's or of no one in particular.
So, what if you're not a Zhaozhou? What if "not this" isn't illumined, and you simply rest in the place of "Yes, I believe you, I believe this"? Practice will also help wear that away, for living with such a belief also binds you, limits you, keeps you suspended just outside of things. It may be the prettier version of things, more pleasant and agreeable, but it is still holding you back. So whether you start there or trade your "not this" for a "Yes! This!", keep going. In that going, yes's and no's will continue rise and fall, so let them. See what your experience is within them and beyond them. The vastness that Nanquan speaks of includes them but is not limited by them, features them but does not depend upon them. it cannot be qualified or quantified, is beyond the reach of all your strivings, yet you are always intimate with it.
As to "Ordinary Mind is the Tao," is it simply this very mind, here and now? Yes and no. Is it something more than simply this? Yes and no. Should I do something about it or just let it be? Give them both a go and see what happens. Once you arrive at an answer, wear it out and keep going. And going. And going.
"Traveler, there is no path. The path is made by walking." -Antonio Machado
Here's a koan that comes for regular visits, which has been keeping company with me lately and speaks to this dynamic:
Zhaozhou asked Nanquan, “What is the Tao?”
Nanquan said, “Ordinary mind is the Tao.”
Zhaozhou asked, “Should I try to direct myself toward it?”
Nanquan said, “If you try to direct yourself you betray your own practice.”
Zhaozhou said, “How can I know the Tao if I don’t direct myself?”
Nanquan said, “The Tao is not subject to knowing or not knowing. Knowing is delusion; not knowing is blankness. If you truly reach the genuine Tao, you will find it as vast and boundless as outer space. How can this be discussed at the level of affirmation and negation?”
I notice a similarity in Zhaozhou's response to Nanquan and my response when first coming across such teachings. The flavor of it is "I believe you and trust what you say, but you can't possibly be talking about this ordinary mind of mine and life as I am currently living it, so how can I get to the place of which you are speaking? What's the catch?" I find that this response and inquiry generates a "not this" and illuminates the various manifestations of "not this" that I tend to carry around with me. There really isn't a catch and practice won't lead you to some place that is beyond your own life, but it will help wear down the "not this" of your experience, allowing it to become useless and drop away. "Not this" binds you, limits you, keeps you suspended just outside of things, and when it drops away you fall gorgeously and fully into the vast richness of life, yours or anyone else's or of no one in particular.
So, what if you're not a Zhaozhou? What if "not this" isn't illumined, and you simply rest in the place of "Yes, I believe you, I believe this"? Practice will also help wear that away, for living with such a belief also binds you, limits you, keeps you suspended just outside of things. It may be the prettier version of things, more pleasant and agreeable, but it is still holding you back. So whether you start there or trade your "not this" for a "Yes! This!", keep going. In that going, yes's and no's will continue rise and fall, so let them. See what your experience is within them and beyond them. The vastness that Nanquan speaks of includes them but is not limited by them, features them but does not depend upon them. it cannot be qualified or quantified, is beyond the reach of all your strivings, yet you are always intimate with it.
As to "Ordinary Mind is the Tao," is it simply this very mind, here and now? Yes and no. Is it something more than simply this? Yes and no. Should I do something about it or just let it be? Give them both a go and see what happens. Once you arrive at an answer, wear it out and keep going. And going. And going.
"Traveler, there is no path. The path is made by walking." -Antonio Machado
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